If my pillows could talk, I think the first thing they’d say is “get your shit together, because frankly I’m sick of the hugging when you’re happy and the eyeliner stains when you’re sad”. I think they’d say that they’ve missed me the lately, but that an entire weekend would be a bit too much alone time.
I think they’d agree with me on the men that have stopped coming around, but they’d admit that there are one or two that they miss.
They’d say that at night they pray along with me, and hope that my grandparents really are listening. In my heaert I believe they’d say how proud they are of me in the past year and how much I’ve grown and learned to love myself.
Finally, they’d say sorry to steal your thunder, because these are the same things I tell myself everyday.
Well I’m not going to change the world from this bed.
I’ve never been someone to live in a fairytale world. I may have big dreams but I still know the difference between real life and fiction.
The past few months have made me seriously question my reality. How could I think those thoughts less than two months ago and now not have a single one run through my head? Which ones were reality and which ones were fiction?
For now I’m just going to trump it up as a miracle. Dreams really do come true.
Trying to explain a panic attack to someone for whom anxiety is not an issue is like speaking in a foreign language. You really think your world is caving in. You’re going to have a heart attack. And no matter how many times it happens, it still feels like the world is falling out from your butt every. Single. Time.
So what are you supposed to do when it drifts into your work life and career? I’m lucky in that when I started my own company I had to pitch myself and my services constantly. Doing the things that scare you more often makes them less scary.”
Sometimes we just expect things to work out in our favor.
And that is a horrible idea.
Just some time ago I felt like I would never find the success and happiness I so badly wanted.
I’m starting to realize I’ve always had it.